I just hate myself so much

Reasons why I hate myself:

  • I let people push me around because I’m scared to oppose them.
  • I let other people determine my self-worth. If someone dislikes me or does something to me that makes me think they dislike me (even if I know it was unintentional), I can literally feel my self-esteem drop.
  • I’m impatient.
  • I’m so judgemental even though I try to stop myself.
  • I’m constantly bored at everything.
  • I get distracted way too easily.
  • I overthink everything. On tests, when it comes to people and their actions, everything really.
  • I fall for the wrong people.
  • I can’t back out of a fight.
  • I constantly hide my true emotions. So instead all my negative feelings get bottled up inside me, making it worse.
  • I’m kind of clingy.
  • I’m too shy.
  • I hold way too many grudges.
  • I’m way too much of a perfectionist.
  • I procrastinate.

Yeah so if I ever have a job interview and they ask for negative things about me, I’ll just send them this list.

Sorry, I’m just feeling so ughhh today. I kind of want to cry it out but it’d just make me feel worse because I’ll feel like I’m overreacting and it really isn’t a big deal.

~K

A Boring Ol’ Life Update

I’ve got 10 more days until my music history exam. Including today.

I have this really weird way of studying. Well, I guess it isn’t “weird” but it isn’t great. Basically, I’m trying to memorize all my essays word for word. But it works 🙂 And it’s actually easier for me to memorize that way. But it’s not really reliable because what if I get this random essay question that I never studied for? I already know just about what’s going to be on the exam, but my luck is like that. Also karma. I’m really regretting that time where I dropped my sister’s toothpaste on the ground and was too lazy to pick it up.

And I’m kind of freaking out, except I’m not doing anything about it. In fact, I’m not really doing anything except spending my days on the internet. I really want to read (because I get all my books from the library and they’re probably overdue now but I didn’t even finish them yet) but the internet distracts me. Also, the guiltiness of not studying (even though I feel guilty when I’m on the internet yet I don’t do anything about it). I can’t even doodle properly anymore. And that’s saying something because normally, I doodle way too much. And like before, the internet distracts me.

Funny thing is, I don’t even know what I do on the internet. Other than a few minutes on WordPress to catch up on posts (and maybe post something myself), and a bit of BuzzFeed, Gaia, and Youtube, there’s nothing else that I do regularly.

//That moment when you don’t even know what you do on the internet

I also keep on watching all of these cooking videos when I know I won’t even make anything. And I spent at least 15 minutes searching up how to put out a grease fire when I know I won’t even deep fry anything. But honestly, how are you supposed to turn off the heat when there’s a fire blocking the heat control thing (whatever it’s called). I just don’t want to burn myself… I’m kind of scared of fires… 😐

Anyways, just wanted to update you guys on my terrible study habits 🙂 Have a great day guys (or night…) 😀

-Kitty

The 5 Senses Tag

Heya! I just got tagged by the amazing Regina5000 from her blog Diversion 3000 to do this wonderful tag. Thank you so much! Don’t forget to check out her blog as well! 🙂

Anyways, here are the rules:

  • Thank the person who nominated you.
  • For each of the five senses (or as many as you do) describe five of your favorite things having to do with that sense. AKA your five favorite smells, sounds, etc.
  • Nominate five other people to do this tag.

Sight

  1. I love sunsets—you can see them on the south side real good. 😀
  2. The colour gold…
  3. I like looking at people’s eyes with my eyes.
  4. Pastel colours.
  5. I like looking at people’s art and wishing I could do the same.

Continue reading The 5 Senses Tag

I’m probably ruining this challenge with my terrible quotes

Again, thank you PerfectReverie for nominating me! Today, I am here to share with you some of the best quotes ever. I hope you guys get inspired by these amazing quotes.

~~~

Haha lol nope

Well, I guess this could actually be a bit inspirational…

Continue reading I’m probably ruining this challenge with my terrible quotes

The Best Brownie in a Mug Recipe

After 5 hours of endless testing and tired arms, I have finally perfected the mug brownie. It was a long and treacherous journey, but I have been rewarded with probably the tastiest brownie ever. Also, probably the unhealthiest brownie ever but no one needs to know that. Also, I didn’t spend 5 hours but no one needs to know that either.

So just recently I got a new mug so I just had to try a new mug recipe with it. A lot of the mug recipes I’ve tried were really meh. They weren’t bad but after I tried this one, it made me realize what I was missing.

So without further ado, let’s go!

Continue reading The Best Brownie in a Mug Recipe

Stepping on People’s Balloons and Other Asian Versions of Fun

-Life update post coming up!-

I’m doing this in a list because I like lists.

What I did yesterday:

  1. I went to a “duck park” for this Asian gathering.
  2. I saw so many people I knew from elsewhere so I spent a lot of time hiding from them and hoping they wouldn’t see me.
  3. One annoying girl I knew saw me and tackled me in a hug. -_- But afterwards she full on ignored me because that’s actually how she acts
  4. I ate a lot of food. It was a potluck. I made these amazing blueberry muffins. Unfortunately, my sister didn’t get to take one because they were SO good that everyone just had to get one for themselves. But then I found a random one just sitting on the counter and gave it to her. Hopefully, I didn’t ruin anyone’s dessert.
  5. Actually, all our food that we brought was amazing. They were gone in less than ten minutes. 🙂 Continue reading Stepping on People’s Balloons and Other Asian Versions of Fun