i’d say that i haven’t been doing very well lately but that isn’t true. it’s just that i’m sad. i’m still functioning normally and all. it’s just that there’s always this sadness in me. sometimes it’s so overwhelming that it’s all i can think of but other times i’m so involved in other things that i almost forget about it. almost. it’s kind of like… when you’re watching a show even though you got exams coming up. you still enjoy it, and maybe in the extra funny or scary parts you even forget about your exams, but deep down you’re still wondering what the fuck are you doing because exams are literally the next day.
it’s kind of like that. i don’t know really how to explain it.
the worst part is that it isn’t even a justifiable type of sadness. it’s just there. and at night when you’re thinking about nothing, you wonder why you’re crying because you’re only thinking about nothing at all.
and there are some times where i hate myself for feeling so because what a pretentious teen i am when i have no reason to feel this way.
i just want this pity party to end