Note: This happened a while ago but I STILL REMEMBER EVERY DETAIL GAHHH
Once upon a time, in a magical, mythical land called Canada, there lived a girl who decided to be a school office assistant in order to stay in during lunch break. It was January or so. It was Canada. It was cold.
(It was kind of sad how we were forced to go outside and freeze our butts off. But after this incident, maybe going outside would have been the better option.)
And so she sat on the big comfy office chairs, spinning around once in a while until a teacher came in and asked for a favour. She dumped a handful of bills and coins on the desk and asked her to count it for her and stash it away next to the brand new unopened MacBook Air.
(It was, though, kind of ironic how our school bought some random MacBook Air since the lock on two of our bathroom stall doors are broken. They fixed one earlier but I doubt they’ll ever get to the second. And as for the MacBook Air, I still have no idea what they used it for. For all I know, it could still be stashed in the same spot as before.)
But since she had nothing better to do, not to mention the fact that the teacher was a bit scary, she decided to do it. The teacher thanked her graciously (maybe even a bit too graciously) and left.
And so the girl went, counting the money, when Satan walks into the office, sits himself down on some chairs, and starts counting – 1, 2, 3, 4… really loudly.
(Now, unless you are some creature blessed by God and never experienced something like this, you should now how frustrating this was. This kid was a monster. And despite telling him to stop, he smirked and continued on.
And since they were the only two people within hearing range, there was no one of higher ranking to whack him on the head several times to render him unconscious.
So the girl decided to do it herself. It was quite satisfying.
The boy got approximately 34 whacks and died of excessive blood loss (guns magically appeared in her hands… I told you, Canada is a magical place). There was no funeral and he was not missed. To this day, his body is still lying in that school office as a warning to future Satanists.
(Well actually, I didn’t. But I did do it in my head.)
Anyways, afterwards, she finished counting the money, stuck it next to the MacBook Air, spun around on the chair a couple of times, and continued on her day.
Okay, but in all seriousness, this should be illegal.
Also, an update on my arm: turns out it was actually broken and I got it casted. Welp, it’s already starting to stink.