Like the title says, I no longer care if you know where I live. Unless of course, you’re a murderer/rapist/burglar. Then here are 10 reasons why I am not worth your time:
- I’m actually quite scary. I have a black belt in karate. I can throw knives. Don’t mess with me.
- My neighbours are scary. They have big and loud dogs that have no qualms about biting your ass. It’s painful. Don’t mess with them.
- My sister is scary. She can scream real loud. We use her if we don’t have time to call 911. It is still very effective. Don’t mess with her.
- My mom is scary. She can tell when you’re lying. So don’t pretend to be innocent. It won’t work. Don’t mess with her.
- My dad is scary. He has mastered the art of glares and annoyed grumbles. Also, he’s strong and can wield chopsticks like a pro. Don’t mess with him.
- My friends are scary. They will attack youwith weird and random noises. It will ruin your ears. You will die because it’s just so weird. Don’t mess with them.
- My stuffed animals are scary. Just like in Toy Story, they can come to life. Except they’re not friendly. They’re like Lotso. They will murder you in a heartbeat, just like those Urban legends that you probably shouldn’t read when you’re alone and it’s nighttime. What an embarrassing death, too. Don’t mess with them.
- My teachers are scary. Once they give you the look, you are done for. They will fail you without mercy. Don’t mess with them.
- My favourite book characters are scary. Percy Jackson will chop you in half with that sword of his. Alina Starkov will blind you with her powers and THEN kill you. Even Voldemort takes orders from me. AND THEY WILL ALL COME TO KILL YOU SO BEWARE! Don’t mess with them.
- My future is scary. Oh so scary. You will die even THINKING of it. So, like everything about me, don’t mess with it.
So here are 10 reasons why you should never mess with me. Although, now that I think of it, it would be pretty fun to mutilate you and use your tortured screams as my relaxing playlist. Yes, it would be fun. Oh very, very fun… 😈
Have a lovely day, my friends 🙂